now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
