She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
