carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
