dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
