i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
