When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
