he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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