Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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