My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
