But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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