dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
