What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize