I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
