Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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