Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize