Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
