he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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