So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
May the power of my ass compel you!!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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