My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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