I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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