He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize