Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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