i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
