she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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