My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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