I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
