I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have already put on my inside pants.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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