he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
