I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
