i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She even gives head with a lisp.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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