Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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