two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Everclear isn't food dammit
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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