If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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