That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
