Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
