i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
