ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize