his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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