i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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