so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
