she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The air taste purple.
Randomize