why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
