Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
