i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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