am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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