I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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