Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
