So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I will die if light touches me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
