Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
