Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
