goodnight i made you a song goodbye
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize