Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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