I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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