Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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