This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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