The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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