Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
