I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
