I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
