Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dick very happy bro
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
