Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
