so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
