he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
